Silent Struggle

May is recognized as Mental Health Awareness Month, and sharing personal challenges can highlight the significance of seeking support and embracing changes that have the potential to be life-saving.

I have experienced depression and anxiety at various times in my life. In the spring of 2022, I hit my lowest point and endured it in silence for nearly a year. There were tearful meltdowns, sleepless nights, anger consumed me, and the mere thought of going to work was so dreadful that it made me late almost every day. Most of the people around me were unaware because outwardly I appeared to have it all together. Only my therapist and my mom were aware of the severity of the struggle I faced.

Despite my achievements – Vice President of News at NBC4 Los Angeles and the highest-ranking Black woman in local news in the #2 media market – I battled inner turmoil. The turmoil intensified as COVID-19 pandemic protocols were lifting and a sense of normalcy began to return. The isolation, the extended work hours, and the requirement as a leader to prioritize the needs of others over my own for more than two years caused my mental health to significantly deteriorate.

Even without the added pressures of a pandemic, working in the news industry was incredibly stressful for me due to the unpredictability of the news cycle, the competitiveness, the increasing demands, the diminishing resources and the negative nature of many stories that are covered. Additionally, navigating leadership as a Black woman added layers of complexity. All of this, contributed to my depressive disorder. Some of the symptoms I experienced include:

• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, pessimism, emptiness
• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Insomnia
• Feeling extra fidgety

During the first week of 2023, I visited my mom at home in Indiana. While discussing the next steps in my career, which would double my responsibilities, she cautioned me, “Renee, stress will kill you.” Even prior to this moment, I had shared with her that my job was sucking the life out of me. My mom recognized depression, anxiety and stress was a potentially lethal combination.

That conversation served as my wake-up call, as I continued to face constant adversity at work. Six weeks later, I resigned. Stepping down as a leader and leaving the news business was the best decision for me in order to focus on my well-being. Through my faith in God, advocating for myself, continued therapy and coaching, I have reached one of the highest points in my life at this moment.

Acknowledging and accepting one’s battle with depression is a courageous act that can lead to a path of healing and self-discovery. It’s important to remember seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. By opening up about your struggles, you are taking a crucial step towards prioritizing your mental health. You are not alone in this journey, and there is hope for a brighter tomorrow!

For those wondering, the difference between therapy and coaching lies in their focus and methodology.

• Therapy typically addresses mental health, emotional healing and the past.
• Coaching concentrates on the present and future, emphasizing setting and achieving both personal and professional goals.

There are resources available for anyone facing mental health challenges. Click here for more information. Should you determine coaching is the appropriate choice for you, use the contact form below to get in touch.

Renee