Overcoming People Pleasing as a Leader

As a leader, you will find you simply cannot please everyone, no matter how hard you try. This is a reality I had to quickly come to terms with and embrace, as it is an essential part of effective leadership.

Before I go on, I want to note in writing this week’s newsletter, my intent is to provide support to leaders and impart understanding to those not in leadership positions about the role and its demands.

One of the key challenges a leader faces is having to disappoint people. Whether it’s turning down a request, delivering tough feedback, or making unpopular decisions, there will be times when you have to let people down.

In my leadership roles, I understood delivering difficult news was a part of my job, yet it never became easier. Having experienced disappointment at times throughout my own career, I understand and share those feelings when things don’t turn out the way you had hoped they would. Consequently, I always aimed to convey unwelcome news with compassion and humanity.

Effective leadership often requires making unpopular choices for the greater good of the team and company. In order to do so, you must overcome any tendencies toward people-pleasing. While it’s natural to want to be liked and appreciated, you cannot let that drive your decision-making. Critical aspects to develop as a leader include:

• Mastering the art of saying “no”. You cannot say “yes” to everything, as that will only lead to overwhelm, unsustainable expectations, and burnout. A leader who can confidently and respectfully decline when necessary is better positioned to lead with clarity, authenticity, and longevity.

• Setting clear boundaries. While it’s important to cultivate a positive rapport with your team, there needs to be a distinct line separating your professional roles. Crossing that line can lead to conflicts of interest, favoritism concerns, or even ethical issues down the line. 

• Holding people accountable. You cannot be reluctant to address situations when someone fails to meet the expectations of their role. Quality feedback is necessary for development and improvement.

• Having difficult conversations. Communication is essential for fostering growth and maintaining a high-performing team. Exercising respect and humanity is possible even during tough talks.

• Letting go of the need for validation. People will form their own opinions and judgments, regardless of what the truth might be. It’s a waste of energy trying to make everyone see things from your perspective.

At the end of the day, effective leadership frequently entails making difficult, sometimes unpopular decisions. Displaying kindness and respect as a leader is crucial, but it’s just as important to remember the role isn’t about winning a popularity contest or being everyone’s friend.

Decisions should ultimately be made with the team and organization’s greater good as the guiding principle. By embracing the realities of leadership and making the tough calls, when necessary, you will be better able to guide your team toward success.

Thank you for being a part of the Resilience Wins community!

Renee

To discover more about partnering with me and investing in coaching to help you reach your career and leadership goals, you can either respond to this email or complete the contact form on my website.